I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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