So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to make out with him forever
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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