Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
