Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She needs sedatives and a leash
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
