i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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