I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
that's an acceptable place to lick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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