Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
