I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
