What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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