meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
