bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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