I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
