You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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