The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
