some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
