She said her name was "party"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
