i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
