READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
