I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
