Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
