I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
