The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
