My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this just has baby written all over it
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
