Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
