omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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