like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Someone signed my nipple.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
