I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
