Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
