so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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