I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
