he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
