do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
