He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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