i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
