Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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