He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
But break dance skills will only take you so far
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
