she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
