Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
