I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
