Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
