I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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