There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
