Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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