i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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