I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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