his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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