My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it because I queefed?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
