If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
