i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
