You really coming over, don't trick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize