So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
4 words: hood of his car
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
