Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
