I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
