i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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