you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
