im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
