Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
