Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
