Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
