My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize