return my video game
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
